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Me from Myself and Seeing a Light

by Huxley Madeline

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1.
Deletion 04:24
if i could pick it right i'd feel my movings over you finger-fulls of ethical woos should we be grooming into two? did you know it wasn't me walking down the sidewalk? my ghost left us back around the corner i heard you breathe through your nose as you walked off but did you know i've got time to move over this slope on my shoulders i can see the rose for its thorns when it's gone it's been heavy on my skull since last october i've been carrying to large of a load for way too long give it some time it will be fine and then you can unwind it's alright
2.
i taste my mouth again my hands still shake from all the drinking blood on my blouse again i have a headache and my nose is leaking i saw god again smoking crack in an electric chair it's odd to pretend that there's no truth in all the dirty corners sure, the snake is tired just cut its head off yeah, this place is marred they killed the rabbit let's paste your house again we lick all the blood off of the floorboards eat through the mask, my friend fold your tin foil around burnt out matches sure, the snake is tired just cut its head off yeah, this place is marred they killed the rabbit no, don't read my palms the lines are bending pass the braying god we don't know the ending
3.
Creeping In 03:24
too many lightbulbs flickering in the shadows please crush me again did i see your face on the wall ? where yam i going ? and is it real when i'm there ? the smell of dogs and passing cars demons on the hill burnt out blinkers from afar where i spilled did i see your face down the hall ? where ya going ? and is it real when you're there ? grocery stores are hard with fluorescent bulbs and thoughts of dark places in my pockets eating change cooking on the skull from a heated brain i sneak out the room
4.
when you cross the crosswalk sideways do you need to come back my way ? can you see the chaos streetlight ? cuts and bruises bleeding all night are you tucking a dagger into their throat? people screaming // drinking too much i can see the gripping the crutch not to keen on testing my luck did you see him? he pulled out a gun are you tucking a dagger into their throat? it's just like "oh my god" could you ever see yourself stumbling bleary eyed? and at the corner you lose your health are you tucking a dagger into their throat bum out and watch cops fade out and get lost are you tucking a dagger into their throat?
5.
It Hit 02:15
there's broken glass here we need an exhale when we're exiting cold at the exit sign trouble thrusting and maladjusted talking to talk sweet in your own ear is hard flowers on the wrap maybe just take a nap and try not to think about when it hit it's buffering and leaking spit it's wonderful and reeks of piss i can remember back when it hit
6.
Suitcase 03:35
i say "hold tight" not everybody wants to you say "alright" not everybody means to you say "oh no looky there someone's crying down on the staircase" i say "oh no what despair, let's help them gather up their suitcase" they read me the poem that they had broken smoldering and spilling the lines tremble on the dirt that they're choking heavy hand and curves in their spine if you could read it all the time would you see the light in the rhymes another headache // another light just know that the dribbles are fine
7.
catch me on the rooftop i'll be gripping quick on the back of your jacket pull me up spiral the staircase to my lungs and we're sipping on our haircuts i can see another dangling angel on my skin tuck it in with the needling and it blew into ya is it fluent to ya ? shuffle the deck now or let's just lay down resting to number or we'll just wonder
8.
Porch Swung 03:11
&
9.
Sweet Lights 04:00
an indication sweet lights dreaming of you and streetlights flickering too no need for money here bloody in underwear loving the biting stare nothing but everywhere // cooking the plate again holding a drippy friend bleeding the fountain pen i see the light again // (can i see the light ?) and invitation sweet lights dreaming of you and streetlights flickering too
10.
sure, i'd wanna be a bug climbing daisies to the cemetery tombstones i have known before sure, i'd love to help a slug cross the treacherous trail home and safely walking through the woods does it help to be a lobster ? steady bending with our posture i paste it on the wall you gather in to cast another call calming eyes again
11.
Ambergris 03:41
the day's done i'm folding the lights in my lair the night's won i'm sorry it made you so scared take this horse off of your chest lay your heavies down to rest take a tired taste of air bend and breech but i'm still there it's that creature stuck in our hair time to crawl down these spiral stairs
12.
Ampersand 02:17
if you could plant a row getting higher when you're cold singing hallelujah to the great unknown you could read my soul getting brighter on it's own singing hallelujah to the great unknown where i am home
13.

credits

released October 20, 2023

written, recorded, mixed and mastered by huxley madeline
cover art by helen black
father steven plays guitar on track 8
background noise on track 10 was made by helen
special thanks to javier for the cans

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Huxley Madeline Des Moines, Iowa

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